‘i stood alone by the water and ached for you’ copyright tania palermo
I take a 24-hour respite from the news but continue to hear of more devastation, loss, grief, anger, confusion. The stories reach me in many ways and play over and over in the back of my mind as I meet a friend for coffee; do the grocery shopping; fold the laundry.
I’ve been trying to write all day and the words will just not come. Or, they will come, full of angst and wanting to start a fight. A friend sends a video of her walk outdoors and tells me the rivers and trees are calling out for me to come walk there too, with her. We’ve been talking a lot about community and connection lately. The one giant rock that looks more like a small boulder does grumble lowly as she walks past, and tells me – it is angsty too – which makes me trust it immediately.
Painting would help, but I cleaned the kitchen yesterday, (my makeshift studio), and need to let it have at least one day of rest before messing it up again. The table has lost its fight and is decorated with splotches of many colors but the floor still has hope it will survive the creativity without needing to be scraped and refinished.
sold to private collection copyright tania palermo
It makes me feel small, the not knowing what to do. Or how to hold onto hope in the face of the suffering I see. Or wanting to make things change but feeling powerless to do so.
I scroll through old photos to distract myself and listen to music and keep breathing and know that I AM small and cannot do much for the far away friend who asks me to pray for her daughter, other than to witness her and acknowledge her worry and pray for her daughter and decide, again, that I will do just that, over and over. Not close my eyes. Witness and acknowledge and offer kindnesses and hold doors open and share the bread I make and sit at the doctors’ offices and watch the friends’ dog so they can escape and recharge, and maybe all these little things will matter. Maybe trickles of light will seep in, grow, and start to take up more space than the grief and despair and the feelings of rage at the injustices done. Maybe any action is better than no action and even though we feel small and powerless we can make a difference. And maybe to believe otherwise gives the ‘darkness’ power it does not deserve.
‘Time Traveler’; 11″x14″x3/4″ acrylic on wood panel
This abstract painting is looking for a new home. It is often in the photographing of the piece that I begin to see it more clearly. Or, see it beyond what my original intention was and more as what the painting itself wanted to express. Through the lens of my camera I saw the likeness of a person walking forward and pushing through a wall of some kind – and a sort of shadow self of that person just behind. Sometimes I hesitate to share what I see though – because I don’t want to influence what you see reflected in the image. I’m happy for you to claim it as your own and find your own meaning in the work.
11″x14″x3/4″
Acrylic on wood panel sealed with a matte finish
$85 local pick up
$105 shipped in the U.S. / shipping outside of the U.S. can be calculated upon interest
UPDATE – THIS HAS FOUND A NEW HOME – THANK YOU! :-)
I’ve become attached to having this one hanging on my wall . . . but it’s now varnished and ready to find a new home. It has changed ever so slightly from the previous post so these pictures are the final painting.
All photos have been taken in natural light to show the true colors to the best of my ability.
Acrylic and oil sticks and other things on wood panel. SOLD
UPDATE – THIS HAS FOUND A NEW HOME – THANK YOU! :-)
‘sail away’ will be available once it dries and is sealed [in about a week].
I’m loving being surrounded by all these colors . . . especially when the light hits it just right. I’d been trying to resolve this painting by attempting to reign in the chaos . . . then started to love how everyone who looked at it used their imaginations to see vastly different things within the chaos. . . . and witnessing their journeys made me happy. :-)
18x24x3/4″ acrylic, oil sticks and other things , on wood panel. SOLD
Self-care for me today meant … walking in the woods, taking pictures, saying hello to strangers and their playful puppies and … reading poetry. What did it look like for you?
Keeping Quiet
by Pablo Neruda
“Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still
for once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for a second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would not look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about…
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with
death.
Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.”
End of the day
in a place I only had
a few moments in.
Excited because the light was pretty.
Anxious because I was with
three people and two dogs
who are not photographers
or artists – who were being patient but also,
wanted to move along.
They don’t know how quickly
the light changes
or how long it’s been
since I’ve felt inspired
to capture something.
This is making many photos quickly …
rather than going slowly, looking at
angles and perspectives, or
waiting to feel moved by the subject.
Just hoping one will turn out OK.
52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800 and 28mm lens [50 mm today]
Tania Palermo [Studio on Main] 