massage therapist | photographer

Posts Tagged ‘life’

really listen … don’t hashtag

In Business, covid-19, CT, landscape, self care, Uncategorized on April 6, 2020 at 7:44 PM

Today was one of the tougher ones. We are all facing our own challenges and changes, ups and downs. I’ve confided to friends how hard it is to be living alone through all of this. No physical contact with another soul, no one to talk with in the middle of the night, when the anxiety often shows up. No other income to rely on. They tell me how hard it is to be stuck at home when they are fighting with their partners, when the kids just told them they suck for the hundredth time, and the dog just ate the meal they cooked when they had to leave the room for five minutes.  We are all riding a roller coaster.

 

I am self-employed and single. When I was forced to close shop on March 15th, and stopped having any income source – I still had two properties to support. Home and business expenses kept coming, and I started a slow, quiet panic. I knew I’d be OK – for a short time… but for how long? Most small businesses, as I’m sure you know by all the people asking you to not forget them during this crisis, run on very small margins.

 

I filed for unemployment as, for the first time, self-employed folks are eligible to apply with the new Pandemic Unemployment Assistance. I got word that my claim was approved and filed my first one yesterday.  When I checked on the dollar amount this morning, it was …. ZERO. I applied for one of the SBA disaster loans. My claim number was 3,302,753,XXX.  A friend told me that number represents the number of claims that have been filed. Even if that’s not possible … Yikes! Didn’t leave me feeling very hopeful.

 

So, I did what I do. Cried for a few moments, and once I got it all out of my system, began looking for other solutions. Then took a walk. In the woods. It never ceases to be a healing source for me. As I walked down the trail, these tiny landscapes kept catching my eye.  I had to get down on the forest floor to make this image. Look at all the growth that’s going on there! Saplings, blades of grass, flowers … It brought me so much hope for some reason. Maybe it’s the restorative effect of spring, trusting in the cycle of life, regrowth, and rebirth. These small shoots having the courage to find their spot in the larger forest. Or maybe it was just crawling on my knees to get eye level to this scene that reminded me to change my perspective in general. The image isn’t in focus … but neither are our lives right now. Everything is a little fuzzy. And that’s OK.

MiniLandscape4-6-20fb©TaniaPalermo

I’m sharing this in hopes it reaches someone else who may be in similar shoes. To let you know you’re not alone. It can be tough to repeatedly, sometimes mindlessly, hear

#we’re all in this together

when, while yes, we are all staying home in a united effort to protect the collective health and well-being of all – no situation is the same. And I think people really need to be seen. Witnessed. Acknowledged. Not just thrown a hashtag.

 

To some this is an inconvenience. It’s hard and a struggle, but they are working from home, maintaining an income, and will largely be OK.  To some people it means being in danger. There are many in domestic violence situations right now who are living their days in fear. To some it means not being able to buy food for their children.  To some it means losing their livelihood. I’ve already witnessed small businesses closing for good. Not just temporarily during this pandemic.

 

Please know wherever you are, however you’re felling – it’s OK. It’s OK to have decided you’re going to get in shape to run a marathon during this time – and it’s also OK if you’re going to eat cookies and binge watch TV. Nobody else knows how your new life is really affecting you – except for you. So please don’t compare yourself to others. Try to find ways to be gentle and kind to yourself, and reach out if you’re feeling alone.  And try to really witness the people who reach out to you. Don’t just throw them a blanket statement of how we’ll all get through this. That’s not going to look the same for anyone. You may not be able to fix anything for them, but acknowledging their personal struggles throughout all this may help them feel held, truly connected, truly seen, and bolstered up to trudge forward.

end of day

In black and white, landscape, personal, Photography, story, studio on main, Uncategorized on June 11, 2019 at 9:18 AM

RI_CLIFF_WALK_02_6-8-19©TANIAPALERMO

End of the day
in a place I only had
a few moments in.
Excited because the light was pretty.
Anxious because I was with 
three people and two dogs
who are not photographers
or artists – who were being patient but also,
wanted to move along.
They don’t know how quickly
the light changes
or how long it’s been
since I’ve felt inspired
to capture something.
This is making many photos quickly …
rather than going slowly, looking at
angles and perspectives, or
waiting to feel moved
by the subject.
Just hoping one will turn out OK.

Project 52 | 22

In Art, black and white, personal, Photography, Project 52, Uncategorized on June 16, 2018 at 4:34 PM

No 22 of 52_Web_logo©TaniaPalermo2018

52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800

Project 52 | 21

In black and white, landscape, personal, Photography, Project 52, Spring, Uncategorized on May 30, 2018 at 4:00 PM

No 21 of 52_Web_logo©TaniaPalermo2018

52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800

Project 52 | 20

In black and white, CT, landscape, personal, Photography, Project 52, Spring, Uncategorized on May 26, 2018 at 4:00 PM

No 20 of 52_Web_logo©TaniaPalermo2018

52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800 and 28mm lens [50 mm today]

Project 52 | 17

In Art, black and white, landscape, personal, Photography, Project 52, Uncategorized on April 15, 2018 at 10:28 PM

No 17 of 52_Web_LOGO©TaniaPalermo2018

52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800 and 28mm lens [today 50mm].

Project 52 | 16

In black and white, landscape, personal, Photography, Project 52, Uncategorized on April 6, 2018 at 7:55 AM

No 16 of 52_WEB_LOGO©TaniaPalermo2018

52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800 and 28mm lens [today 85mm].

Project 52 | 15

In Art, black and white, landscape, personal, Photography, Project 52, Uncategorized on March 29, 2018 at 10:25 PM
No 15 of 52_Web_logo©TaniaPalermo2018
52 week photo challenge : one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800 and 28mm lens.

03-16-18

In abandoned, CT, Photography, Uncategorized on March 16, 2018 at 5:38 PM

WALK A MILE 03-16-18_No2 logo©TANIAPALERMO2018

Stopped by a friend’s business today and got to do one of my favorite things. Photograph forgotten about structures. He’s located inside of an old mill building and this is right outside his back door. I’m sure it looks like junk to most people, but I love the layers of texture, color and stories it tells of it’s old life.

Project 52 | 14

In Art, black and white, CT, landscape, personal, Photography, Project 52, Uncategorized on March 14, 2018 at 1:53 PM

No 14 of 52_Web_Logo©TaniaPalermo2018

Time for a challenge.  Whenever we get too comfortable in life we are no longer growing – and I feel the need to push myself forward.  The guidelines of this self imposed journey are:  one photo a week; no explanations or stories needed; black and white; shot only with my Nikon D800 and 28mm lens. [Today’s photo = 50mm lens]

%d bloggers like this: